Q&A: How do I inform my Aunt who is a orthodox Jew that I am?

Query by BJ: How do I tell my Aunt who is a orthodox Jew that I am?
How do I tell my Aunt, I with a lady, I am Jewish and I am dating a girl from Synagogue we each are modern day orthodox difficult I sometimes aid reform anyway, I dont know how say to her I am the one with her there no another with my title I am tired of lyin to her I want to be totally free thanks

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Response by pingas

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Originally posted 2013-02-17 14:05:12. Republished by Old Post Promoter

2 Responses to Q&A: How do I inform my Aunt who is a orthodox Jew that I am?

  1. Happyme

    Decision has always been senior to action. Get a good hold of self and speak up. Then you’ll go free.



  2. Ambivalent LAUreate

    Well, ,the choice is either to tell her or not to tell her. I know that sounds simplistic, but it’s reality. You could make a decision not to tell her and hide it, because it’s easier and avoids confrontation. Of course, I don’t know how far that is actually possible for you. But sometimes not telling is kinder and more loving to both ourselves and the other person.

    However, if you know that you really can’t do it that way, for whatever reason, I’d suggest you start by telling her how much you value her, respect her feelings etc, that she’s important to you – and you know that what you’re about to tell her will upset her and you really wish there was some way of saying it that wouldn’t, because you really don’t want to distress her. But you have to be true to yourself and so……. Don’t say too much. Just be simple – tell her you have realised you’re attracted to women, and that although you know she will disapprove, the woman you are now dating IS ALSO JEWISH (I’m guessing that the thought of you dating a man who wasn’t Jewish would upset her, too!).

    Good luck – really hope you find a way.

    EDIT: Plushy bear’s suggestion of “Trembling before G-d” is an excellent idea – even though I’m nowhere near that very orthodox approach to Judaism, it gave me a lot of sense of strength and solidarity to hear those people talking about being gay in a frum community.